A new poll conducted by American Ammunition Research Publications revealed a startling shift in the ammo of choice of America’s Boomer generation.
Over 75% of Boomers polled, that’s the generation born between 1946 and 1964, disclosed that their preferred round is no longer .45 ACP. Instead, more Boomers are opting for the younger, hipper 9mm.
For decades, the venerable .45 ACP reigned in Boomers’ hearts, minds, and guns, but more and more are trading .45 in for 9mm.
This shift towards 9mm has left many in the industry shocked. Dr. Vernon Shotwell, lead researcher for American Ammunition Research Publications, indicated that there are a few reasons the older gen is moving to this spry, invigorating round.
9mm Ammo in Stock
“We’d like to believe that Boomers have finally accepted the superiority of 9mm, but our research determined that wasn’t the case. It really comes down to the rigors of aging.” Dr. Shotwell explained.
“9mm is a bit easier on the joints, and, let’s face it, Boomers aren’t getting younger. As we found, many Boomers walked to school 10 miles in the snow, uphill both ways, and that’s had a long-term effect on their health.”
Researchers also found that inflation and the economy in general played a part in many Boomers’ move from .45 ACP to 9mm. But costs weren’t the only reason that Boomers made the jump. Respondents also pointed to “lazy Millennials” as partly to blame.
“I’m on a fixed income,” Willie Wesson explained. “I’ve had to make cuts. I don’t have .45 ACP money anymore. So, I traded in my 1911 for a Glock 17.”
“You know, back in my day, you could order a 1911 and 2 cases of ammo from a Sears catalog for $20. But these darn Millennials ruined that because they don’t want to work. They just want to sit all day at the range using up all the ammo and drinking their fancy mocha chocka coffee drinks from Starbucks.”
Despite that, Millennials and the younger Gen Z generations have said they don’t mind Boomers jumping into the 9mm realm. In fact, some say they are cautiously optimistic about upcoming holidays.
“If it keeps my dad and grandpa from lecturing me about how the 1911 and .45 ACP won two World Wars at Thanksgiving, I’m happy,” Brittany Smith, 38, said.
In the meantime, researchers say they will continue to research this older generation and will soon set their sights on the impact tactical fanny packs are having on Boomers.
Disclaimer: This is a satire/parody post, which may or may not use actual names in quasi-real and/or fictitious narration. So, try not to get too upset about it.
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.45 acp for the home defence gun but 9mm for edc, +p hp of course. Much cheaper to practice with.
I am a Boomer, and I too have found that I like the younger, hipper 9mm. It definitely is a spry, invigorating round. I felt really invigorated the first time I shot a 9 - jangled my last nerve!
"As we found, many Boomers walked to school 10 miles in the snow, uphill both ways, and that’s had a long-term effect on their health."
-- We didn't have much snow where I lived; I walked 10 miles in the heat and humidity uphill both ways.
Yeah of course they do. Right now, one defensive round of .45 ACP costs the same as what they used to pay for a Cheeseburger combo meal at McDonalds.
Cuz of arthritis, sh its even racking the slide is a challenge, helps to get the grandkids to load up the magazines
This site needs more of this. Give us more satire, commentary, and most definitely memes.... And less Travis Pike, that dude blows... Always clogging up this and other sites with blandness.
I miss Johnny and his Appalachian humor sprinkled into his knowledge.
I miss Johnny and his Appalachian humor sprinkled amidst his knowledge. He made me laugh as well as educating me.
I'm a sad panda
"357 mag and 38 special hide nervously behind a cowboy poster"
Bravo!