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[April Fools] CRYPTOPEW NFT Launches, Mint by Shooting Real Guns

CRYPTOPEW NFT
The first NFT project bridging guns and the metaverse. Proof-of-Shooting algorithm mints CRYPTOPEW by shooting real guns.
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    Los Angeles, CA — Crypto wunderkind NOTATF launches his NFT project CRYPTOPEW bridging together firearms with the metaverse.

    CRYPTOPEW NFT
    CRYPTOPEW NFT

    When asked about his inspiration for creating 6,900 randomly generated pixel art of firearms and accessories, NOTATF said “People are looking for beautiful digital art right now. I find firearms to be beautiful. This is definitely not a cash-grab project.”

    Table of Contents

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    Proof Of Shooting (POS)

    CRYPTOPEW is the first NFT project to mint by harnessing the soundwaves generated by real gunshots with a new patented Proof-of-Shooting (POS) algorithm.

    CRYPTOPEW Miner
    CRYPTOPEW Miner

    It aims to create a world-wide mesh network of audio-mining hotspots to power a yet-to-be-determined IOT metaverse capacitor.

    Minted NFTs will use the AR-762 standard and run on the Binance Smart Chain with integration via Metamask and PancakeSwap.

    PSA AK74 Ammo Pile

    When asked why he chose proof-of-shooting mining, NOTATF replied, “I didn’t want to pollute the environment by using dirty energy to solve useless equations. And that’s why it takes the equivalent of 1000 rounds of 5.56 to mint one CRYPTOPEW NFT.”

    The Art

    NOTATF worked tirelessly with famous NFT artists to create a series of base firearm image that could be randomly mixed with optics and accessories.

    Each is unique and some are more rare than others.

    “It’s art that you can proudly show as your Twitter profile,” commented NOTATF, “it forces the world to acknowledge you because you have a pixelated not-Hi-Point with an oversized scope.”

    Features & Utility

    If there’s one thing wrong with guns, it’s fungibility,” continued NOTATF, “so making it non-fungible was definitely the way to go.”

    CRYPTOPEW also uses new anti-copy-paste technology to stop NFT usurpers in their path. Upon copying, the blockchain zeroes in on the would-be-pirate, takes over their computer, and displays the Navy SEAL copypasta.

    Gorilla Warfare Time

    NFT members will also have exclusive access to a yet-to-be-created “Armory” where they can look at their jpegs and nothing else.

    The Armory

    Pricing

    “We believe in fair distribution and that bonding curves are a Ponzi scheme. And we’re definitely not a Ponzi scheme preying on young people YOLO-ing into the only possibility of a retirement,” said NOTATF.

    CRYPTOPEW costs .09 ETH each with no price tiers. Resell royalties are set at 38% for proper remuneration for the founders.

    Estimates of growth are a conservative increase of 1000% in a 1-day period.

    How to Buy CRYPTOPEW

    Get on the list right here (Google Forms).

    CRYPTOPEW NFT
    CRYPTOPEW NFT

    The Team

    This project was created by 3 friends who love guns and NFTs.

    NOTATF: Mastermind, HK fanboy, TikTok investor, landlord.

    IGUANA45: Graphics card collector, unironic Hi-Point lover, bearded.

    BIGBOYTOYS69: Will Smith slap memer, speeds up shooting videos 15%, prohibited person.

    Mira Hazmat Suit & CM-6M
    NOTATF

    Disclaimer: This is a satire/parody post, which may or may not use actual names in quasi-real and/or fictitious narration. So try not to get too butt-hurt about it.

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    25 Leave a Reply

    • Flea

      Proud to say I did not understand a single thing that was written in this article,


      .... even if it's April Fools Day.

      April 2, 2022 12:33 pm
      • TommyJimmy

        Ditto

        April 4, 2022 6:36 pm
    • Ray

      Love it, the new (digital) "Shot heard 'round the world" !

      April 1, 2022 10:47 pm
    • Pete

      Guys, you made my day! That's what I love about this site and the vids. A lot of good info and some tongue in cheek Monty Python humor. Next year go with PewPewCoin....

      April 1, 2022 4:38 pm
    • TommyJimmy

      #€%&ing April Fool’s Day!!! I grew up with a GI, Lincoln Logs and an Atari. Crypto¥@*t anything, whether it’s real or not, is in a realm in which I do not live. Tip of the hat to you- good one!

      April 1, 2022 2:36 pm
    • Anthony Gallipeau

      I seriously do want those pictures though

      April 1, 2022 11:01 am
      • Eric Hung

        Don't you dare copy-paste though

        April 1, 2022 11:58 am
        • Anthony Gallipeau

          oh ho HO! Guess what you and your merry band of smarty-pants DIDN'T think about?
          screenshots....
          Bruh, them NFT's are already all up in my hard drive and being illicitly distributed WORLDWIDE via Snapchat.
          Tell yer lawyers I says hi!

          April 1, 2022 1:39 pm
      • Flea

        #MeToo

        April 2, 2022 12:33 pm
    • Periklis Nifoudis

      thanks for your updates. Pericles.

      April 1, 2022 10:54 am
    • Randal Klefbeck

      Fungibility.....I hate mushrooms growing inside the bore of my .22wmr.

      April 1, 2022 10:52 am
    • DougH

      Ahh, GOOD ONE! Had me going for awhile with this. The "dirty energy" and "useless" aspects should have been the clue. Good thing I stuck with it till the end!!

      April 1, 2022 10:31 am
    • Michael Bryden

      But of course it's a lame cash grab!

      April 1, 2022 10:05 am
      • Anthony Gallipeau

        It's honestly disgusting that a renowned corporate entity such as PewPew would lower themselves to this level. Unsubscribed!!

        April 1, 2022 11:03 am
        • robert burgess

          You did read the disclaimer, right?

          April 1, 2022 11:27 am
          • Anthony Gallipeau

            Disclaimer? DISCLAIMER?!? You think a mere DISCLAIMER somehow absolves these "people" (and I use the term very loosely here btw) of all guilt and responsibility to the readers who have been with them from the start?!
            Sir, and I mean this with all due respect, you should really examine your soul if you think this is somehow proper behaviour!

            April 1, 2022 11:42 am
    • Mark Campbell

      All this time I thought cryptopew was when you couldn't tell who farted.

      April 1, 2022 9:58 am
    • Makares

      The Google form is denying access

      April 1, 2022 9:57 am
      • Eric Hung

        Good catch...fixed!

        April 1, 2022 10:10 am
    • siv

      I was thinking what the hell is this BS but then I remembered the day.

      April 1, 2022 9:55 am
    • Jeff Hoffstadt

      What a breath of fresh air/humor ---!

      April 1, 2022 8:57 am
      • Robert

        Yeah, you totally got me on this one. Great concept, actually.

        April 1, 2022 9:49 am
        • Anthony Gallipeau

          I know what you're thinking and don't you dare!

          April 1, 2022 11:08 am
          • robert burgess

            But it really is a good idea! I would seriously want this NFT. 2A rights should carry over to the metaverse!

            April 1, 2022 11:30 am
            • Anthony Gallipeau

              Never know when you might be forced to use deadly force to repel a virtual attacker!

              April 1, 2022 11:44 am
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